Leaving on a jet plane

So tomorrow is the big day!  Myself and the 2 other ladies leave for the UK for 2 weeks.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time.  But it's funny, God is consistently showing me how much He provides.

It still blows me away how God moved people's hearts to just send us to Betel.  I know how hard people work for their money (thinking of how hard I work), and yes, it is all God's anyway, but we end up choosing what to do with it.  And it's been such a blessing.

When I'm overwhelmed with gratitude, I cry.  Can't help it.  That's just how I'm hardwired.  And man, did I do some crying after my support letters had been sent and donations started coming in, up until this past Friday when I shared with a home group what God has been doing in my life even before the trip so far. We reached our goal and then some.

Arg.  Sometimes I don't like the waterworks and feeling so vulnerable, but it can't be helped.  I need a faucet with a handle or something on the side of my neck to help turn it off.

But I'm grateful for the blessings and support from my church, family, and friends.

And if I can help it I WILL come back with a picture of me holding Will and Kate's baby.  If I can get past the Royal Guard.  :3

In the beginning...

I'm a planner.  Or at least, in my head, I'm a planner.  Though my mother might say otherwise.  But I like to know where I'm going, who I'm going with, and what's happening.  If something is out of my control, it tends to put me a little on edge.  God knows this, and is giving me constant reminders that He is in control, not me. That seems to be the theme before this missions trip abroad.

Just some quick background, my church is sending 3 women (myself plus 2 others) abroad to help at Betel, a wonderful organization in the UK that, according to their website, is "dedicated to restoring homeless and long-term unemployed people to healthy, independent lifestyles."  (The participants willingly ask to join Betel.)  They help people with addictions and "train men and women in a wide range of life and employment skills, enabling them to rebuild a strong work ethic." (http://www.betel.org/uk/.) Our church supported Betel for a number of years, and with the Lord's prompting and permission, doors opened to let us go over and help in any way we can, which could include stading on the street to hand out tracts and tell people about Betel, giving testimonies and encouragement to the staff and participants of Betel, to cooking (I will need explicit instructions in this!!), sewing (this as well!  unless it's crocheting--then I might be sort of okay), and working in a shop that sells goods made by the men and women who are staying at Betel. 

I am VERY excited to be going to Betel to help.  It makes me all kinds of happy, knowing through the Lord's guidance and strength, we can be a blessing to them.  We 3 ladies from the church are to each prepare a devotional and our testimony to share with the women who are participating in Betel.  We decided on a theme--women from the Bible.  I felt God told me to focus on Hannah, so she is who I will be giving a devotional about.  

This makes me somewhat nervous. I've lead Bible studies before, taught Sunday School, and participated in different church activities.  But I worry about getting this "right."  I do not want to say anything that might be taken the wrong way, or speak incorrectly.  This is the tiny perfectionist side of me coming out, and she likes to be correct and well-prepared!  :)  But God has a way of humbling us every day, which could even be another post in itself.  

So I've already started my notes for my devotional and my testimony is just about complete.  I know God is in control and he has me in the palm of his hand, and will use this trip for His Glory.  "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"  ~Psalm 27:1

Though it may seem scary, with God, who, or what, can be against us?  "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" ~Romans 8:31  He will use this time with Betel in any way He sees fit.  I'm excited.  Nervous, and excited.  :)

Just as He will be in control during our time in Betel, He was in control on a recent hiking trip to Washington State that I took with some friends.  The whole experience was beautiful--the scenery, the hiking, and getting to know new (and old) friends better.  But lo and behold, wouldn't you know, little things popped up that made me stressed.  

Turns out that at the airport, when you have a transfer connection to another plane, you get 2 boarding passes instead of one.  Did you know that?  My common sense knew that.  But my rushing-through-the-airport-to-get-through-security-and-get-to-the-gate sense did not.  (I had even printed out 2 boarding passes on the way over!  But I guess I forgot about that!!) So guess what happened!  That's right, when coming home I got 1 boarding pass and didn't pause to check that I had the other.  D'oh!  I must've left it in the machine when I checked my bag, since I had to wheel my checked bag down to the other end of the line so they could put it on the belt (that had broken) once it started working again. 

Fast forward to the plane, and as we're waiting for liftoff I ask my seatmates when we get our second boarding pass.  They looked at me like I had 2 heads.  Blinking, they said, "You don't have another one?"  "Um... no."  Cue panic.  Immediately I began to stress out, wondering what I was going to do when we got from Washington State to our connecting flight in Denver.  

A million thoughts ran through my head.  Will I be able to get on our connecting flight?  What if they won't let me?  Will I have to stay in Denver?  I have my ID and debit card.. Will I have to buy another ticket?   The image of me standing forlornly in the Denver airport, waving to my friends as they flew back home on the plan popped into my head.  :(   Funny now, but sad at the time!  As a planner, I began to imagine what I could do to solve the situation.  Instead of praying about it and asking God for peace and comfort, and a solution to the problem, I took the matters into my own hands and stressed about it for the first 20 minutes of the flight.  

Then a seatmate tried to comfort me, saying this probably happens all the time, and we could talk to someone at the gate when we arrived.  This gave me some small comfort, because it was a plan of action, but I was still stressed.  Then a thought came into my head--Pray about it.  

So I did.  I asked God for comfort and peace about not having a boarding pass, and to help me to just give Him all the stress and worry I was feeling.  He loved me enough to send His Son, Jesus, to die for me on the cross, so he definitely loved me enough to take all the anxiety I was feeling and would handle the situation.  Whatever the outcome, whether I'd be left desolate on that tarmac (The cheese stands alone!) or sitting beside my friends on the plane, it'd be okay.

The song "121" by Kim Edwards (highly recommend it--go listen if you find it!) popped into my head, and I broke out my nano to listen to it.  It's Psalm 121, sung differently that the traditional way we're all used to hearing it, and I love it.  It was exactly what I needed to hear to help me focus on the Lord instead of all the 'what-if's' and doubts in my head.  

1I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

                          ~Psalm 121

She sings some words a little differently (maybe using another Bible version), but the song is almost word for word.  God provided me with what I needed and helped me to give it to Him, that He is watching over me, knowing that He is in control.  It's amazing knowing that my life is in His hands, and everything will be okay. 

And whaddya know, it was!  The second we got to our gate for our connecting flight, I went to the counter and told them I'd forgotten my other boarding pass.  The clerk at the desk took my ID and in 4 seconds, printed out another boarding pass and handed it to me.  An immediate gratefulness washed over me and I am thanking God, who knew it would be okay and handled everything for me.  

It's funny how big the little stuff seems at the time.  But I'm grateful God gives me gentle reminders to trust Him, that He will take care of everything, and we will be alright.